It is the ultimate goal for every parent to teach their children to be self-reliant and independent, and indeed that is what every child wants and that is to be respected and independent.
Parents and children sometimes have too much undue pressure brought upon them from others to comply to which they believe are the norms of normal child development. Adult who are not incontinent nor have children who are incontinent quite often make wrong assumptions that the parents are not doing a good job Parenting/training their child, and the child is just lazy.
What they don't realize is the urinary system is very complex, and everything must be working correctly otherwise accidents will occur.
Most adults are aware children have a range of physical developments where we can see two 12yr olds at different stages of development where one 12yr girl can have physical appearance of a young lady, or you could have another 12yr old that could have the same physical appearance 9 or 10yr old.
However, most adults don’t realize that the body internally organs will also mature at different rates, and a child urinary system can be delayed in development.
The following information on frequency of bedwetting occurrence is as follows:
One problem about writing about enuresis is that studies have produced greatly different data on its frequency. That is why the three different sets of numerical data are given in the table.
4yrs. 1 studies 12.5% 2nd study 25%
5yrs. 1 studies 12.5% 2nd study 25% 3rd study 23%
8yrs. 1 studies 7.3% 2nd study 10% 3rd study 16%
10yrs.1 studies 5% 2nd study 8.5% 3rd study 12%
13yrs.1 studies 3% 2nd study 5% 3rd study 7.5%
15yrs 1 studies 1.8% 2nd study 2.5% 3rd study 6%
Adult 1 studies 1% 2nd study 2% 3rd study 3%
Although the three sets of data vary widely, they are not the lowest or highest estimates that have been found in the literature.
A school age boy is 1.5 times more likely to wet at night than a girl of the same age. That means that if the table gives a figure of 10%, the figure for boys would be 12%, while the figure for girls would be 8%. But there appears to be no difference in severity, or age of dryness between boys and girls who wet.
I do not believe that studies truly accurate because in surveys , and because this is a closet subject that no one really wants to admit to I believe the rates are higher!
What you can on is sales on diapers in the United States are, which is as follows:
2015 5 billion in sales and 11 billion diapers sold
2016 7 billion in sales and 15 billion diapers sold
Incontinent diapers sales 80% children 20% adults in US
80% disposable diapers & 20% cloth diapers
Walmart Brand has 14% market share on diapers sales in US
Costco Brand has 9% market share on diapers sales in US
Target Brand has 4% market share on diapers sales in US
There are 7,500,000 us kids between 6 and 18yrs of age with bedwetting issues.
So once again, I believe the studies of frequency of kids bedwetting issues are higher than what the studies show.
Now if you take 1000 10 yr. olds depending what study, you are reading is anywhere from 50 to 120 kids experiencing immature urinary system, where they have a urinary system not functioning together resulting in accidents and to ask them to stop having accidents which they have no control over is like asking them to grow another 3 inches overnight.
Now on another misunderstanding I have noted over the years from running incontinent family support groups that we have a lot of misconception coming from parents who have children that are only dealing with Nocturnal Enuresis (Bedwetting) and both the parent & child with only bedwetting issue find it real hard to understand why a child that is in diapers 24/7 have a need for more support from their parents at the same age they presently at , where they having only have to seal with Nocturnal Enuresis (Bedwetting) can easily handle their own bedwetting issue without parent support.
What parent that have only Bedwetting children fail to realize that the use of better protection that diapers provides requires a great deal of more dexterity and maturity to handle then pull-up ®.
Now a child who is just dealing with a bedwetting issue that is light to medium incontinent would only require Pull-ups ® to manage their accidents while sleeping and all that is required of them is to put it on before Bedtime and afterwards taking them off in the morning or perhaps remembers to put them on when taking naps.
Now grant there is some responsibility in remembering to put on at night and then in the morning to remove them on a timely manner and just cleanup, which sometimes they fail to do correctly by skipping cleaning up entirely and just put on underwear thinking who will know.
However, the responsibility in managing diapers for a child who are 24/7 is a far greater challenge both in maturity and physically requirements to be able to put them on correctly without having leaking accidents. Now diapers just require a great deal more dexterity to change versus a pull-up. Changing one’s own diaper seems to be a very simple takes. However, putting on one and then properly adjusting it correctly by yourself is actually more difficult than them putting a diaper on one of their siblings.
This dexterity required is something adults and kids who have not dealt with diapers first hand truly find it really hard to comprehend.
Now this is the same with us regarding riding a bike, which we forgot how difficult it was to learn and all we now remember is it a simple thing to do. However, we really forgotten how difficult it was to learn. Now we can teach a 4yr old to ride a two-wheel bike. 1st you steer, 2nd balance yourself and 3rd you pedal all at the same time. Now that child does need any more information, but they simply don’t have the motor skills to complete the task. Now is it possible for some 4yr old do it ? Well, yes but it a real exception and highly unusual that they have acquired the dexterity at such a young age to ride a two-wheeler.
Kids can manage diapering themselves between 10 to 14yrs of age with the average age seems to be around 12 or 13 that they can successfully for the 1st time secure a diaper on, so there be no leaks. However, it they are wearing 24/7 managing diapers require a great deal more maturity.
Now one would think that certainly 12 to 14yr old can certainly handle the responsibility of maintain good hygiene. Well, that is certainly true for a non-incontinent child who is 10yrs old that is NOT incontinent, it takes nothing for them to run into the bathroom and take care of business quickly, and they can go back to what they were doing in no time.
However, a child who is in diapers 24/7 it is really BIG disruption of their time, and more planning and self-disciplines is required. The have to force themselves to stop what they are doing (Stop talking to friends over the phone, or watching TV, etc.) and change and then force themselves not to skip proper procedures in cleaning up.
Young teens quite often will put off changing, and end up NOT changing on a timely manner. Or when they finally change they do a poor job cleaning up or skip it entirely, which one 14yr old told me what the point of cleaning up when a dry diaper just absorbs everything and besides what the point when everything is going to get wet again.
So once again, there is far a bigger responsibility managing diapers, which indeed takes a lot more maturity to handle them. I find kids generally do acquire the physically dexterity 1st to properly secure a diaper before they have acquired the necessary maturity to handle it properly. Which usually do not happen until between 14yr to 16yrs old where they are now consistent enough to change on timely manner and have the self-discipline not to skip any proper procedures in cleaning up.
Many children who are 24/7 need their parents support on a full-time basis's up to 13 to 15yrs of age and continue support into their late teens. Sometimes this is due to Physical dexterity issues, because kids who have under developed urinary system have also seemed to have a delay in other motor skills and simply securing a diaper right is a daunting task and easier if someone else does it, especially if they are using cloth diapers with pins.
I am aware of some kids in the group that at 12yrs old that have completely handled their own diapers successfully, and I am also aware of 16yr old that need full parent support managing their diapers because of the maturity issue.
There are posts in our group from kids around 14yrs old admitting they were not handling their protection right and had leaks. However, I will not embarrass them by pointing them out. However, I have post here from Colby at 13yrs old (Pass away a couple years ago from cancer) talking about how he was not staying on top of it as he should and his mother took over again.
“Hi Lenny, how have you been. Sorry I didn't write sooner, I was going to write you last night but our power went out because of a storm. I have been getting pretty tired from the radiation and my hair was falling out. Mom shaved my head on Saturday night. You can read about it in another post I have my mom change my diapers for me because I can't get them tight either, plus I get lazy and don't stay on top of it and get rashes. Do you wear diapers in the daytime too, or do you wear pull-ups for daytime? Pull-ups aren't enough for me during the day so its diapers 24/7. That’s why I like the Star diapers because they are made especially for older boys who still need them. Well you take care and I'll catch you later.
I just want to get this message out to our new members who just joined us, because this is not generally discussed from parents who still changing their older child nor an older child who is really willing to admit, they still need help because they don't want anyone to perceive that they are being babied by their parents and appear no better than a toddler. Which of course is not true.
The road to independence for Incontinent child is not an easy one for Parent or child !
Steven F. Trimarco
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